April 30, 2011

Surviving Toledo.

It's the end of our holidays. We're* pooped. We've* put up with a lot of rain. We've* seen a lot of cobble-stoned streets and old churches. Despite this, we** tried for more. 

To survive Toledo (Spain) in the rain, you need to be prepared.

First of all, no matter how many crap toys you have at home, nor despite the  innate knowledge that your parents wouldn't have gotten you a toy sword, nor even the meagre of number of days that have passed since the most recent birthday, you have to buy toy swords immediately upon arrival. (One per child, of course.) Unless you do this ASAP you will be plagued with pestered pleas and be rendered a completely incompetent adult, never mind an uninterested tourist.

Before sword purchase.

After sword purchase.

The rules you set about no fighting will be meaningless and wisp away with the wind, but never mind. You'll get to see at least some sights, like another cathedral. Which we** loved. 

Now, the swords will buy you some time, but you'll in no ways have time for a leisurely Spanish lunch. Instead you must opt for the nutritionally-ambiguous hot dog from the lurid orange Potato Shop (don't ask - I'm sure it's a translation issue). Don't get yourself a hotdog. You* can survive the afternoon on a canned Nestea.

When you see a playground, go there. And go there quickly. It will keep the little knights busy for at least 20 minutes as you try to figure out where you are in the labyrinth of Toledian streets.

When, at the end of the day, you congratulate yourself for successfully navigating the ridiculous cobweb of uphill streets, countless knightly arguments, morose cathedrals, dry tapas and a curious lack of bathrooms, do not - DO NOT - be tempted to purchase yourself a traditional Toledian souvenir.

After all, you* have Madrid to contend with tomorrow.

* I, me, Andrea
** Donal

p.s. Regardless of the day's trials, I still loved that I was in the original Toledo after having spent so much of my life in and around the Ohioan version.


  1. I think the pictures of the before and after sword pictures are absolutely pricely!!

  2. This is the funniest post I've ever read. I love the **'s and I love the swords.