September 16, 2011

Unattended children.

I am a parent.
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Most of my friends are parents.
My sister is a parent and my Mom and Dad are parents.
My in-laws are parents. In fact, even my husband is a parent.
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We are not bad people. I really like us. I really like our kids.
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Before my life as a parent I was a non-parent.
My brother is a non-parent. All my siblings-in-law are non-parents. A lot of my cousins are non-parents. My BFF was once a non-parent. Some of the parents I know are, at heart, non-parents.
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I like you guys, too. You're good people.
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However, what rankles me is our sometimes differing approach to Kids In Public. I recognize I'm coming at this from the parent view, but I am a fair and level-headed person, so bear with me.
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Let me dispel a few myths...

  • Children are not out to ruin your day. You're just another non-kid; if you don't want to play, you don't exist in their eyes.
  • I do not feed my kids espresso and white sugar just as we head out the door. I only give them that as they're going to bed. 
  • When they cry or whimper on an airplane, I am much more distressed over it than you are. And, no, they can not have chewing gum.
  • I am not intentionally trying to hog the sidewalk / shopping aisle / bus with my buggy; If I could make it smaller or even a non-necessity, I would.
  • I cannot stop a full-blown tantrum. Neither can you. Neither can Mother Theresa, Barney, and Supernanny combined.
  • When a tantrum is in full-force it's also very difficult to remove myself + my kid from the situation. The easiest exit would be for the ground to swallow us up, but despite my fervent wishes that has yet to happen.
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...and confirm some truths:


  • Kids are loud and sticky.
  • Kids don't sit still.
  • Kids drive their parents and other parents crazy, too.
  • I, and all parents I know, are just doing our best.
  • Not every place is kid-appropriate.
  • Not every place needs to be kid-appropriate.
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So.
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My local coffee shop - which is in a residential area, across the street from a school and adjacent to a park - has opted to post a sign asking parents to mind their children, as there are hot drinks being ushered around. Fine - a 100% understandable and reasonable request. Kids running around a small space isn't a good idea and I don't want anyone getting scalded either.
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What I can't understand is why said coffee shop would post their intentions to *Facebook* before actually posting the sign in their shop. Did they need to bolster their confidence in such a demanding business decision with a lot of "Likes"? Was a particular employee having a bad day? Also, why such a discrepancy between the actual, shop sign and the Facebook post? Are they concerned with ambiance or scalding...? The tone of their FB post leads me to believe the former. The tone of the responses reiterates this. My own response is to question whether or not I'm really welcome - even with well-behaved children - to get a coffee here. 
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People will be people and I can't change this. But I might have to change where I get coffee. Maybe someplace with a greater sense of humor.
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Photo courtesy of john-only.tumblr.com

5 comments:

  1. So the coffee shop is next to a park and opposite a school. Well done on alienating your largest group of clientele. Mad bizniz skillz.

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  2. Exactly Ruth. Never mind that the parents come in, buy frothed milk, cupcakes, juice, etc., and then leave after 20 mins. I'm sure the revenue from the WiFi browsing, lounge-loving, money-lacking hipsters is enough.

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  3. Nothing creates great ambiance quite like posted stern warnings.

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  4. We stopped going to a restaurant after our request to sit on the outdoor patio was denied, even when it was completely empty. "No children allowed out there" we were told. (This was a sports bar, not some fancy, upscale place.)

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